control; redefine

Friend (whom I adore) while we were eating dinner:  "Ok seriously, I could never date him. I am way too hot for him, not to sound conceited, but seriously, I am. So why is it bothering me?"

Me: "Bc somehow he got control of the situation, and you like to be the one in control"

There are a few people in this world who outright don't mind not having any control. This same group of people are also usually the ones that piss me off in traffic bc somehow the 'ability to merge' gene was never factored into their DNA. 

Not having to be in control, not calling the shots is in fact more ballsy. What it really comes down to is the person who isn't in control is putting their feelings out there, and taking more of a chance for hurt and rejection than the person in control of the situation. (Seriously just had a Backstreet Boys song pop into my head..."Quit playing games with my heart..my heart...I should've known from the start"...don't worry, I am ashamed that I remember that sick mess.)

I prefer to always be in control of things. While I might put stuff on here, and listen to other people's current problems, I rarely reciprocate with anything deeper than the equivalent of a baby pool. It scares me to put whole hearted trust in someone when people seem to drastically change in just weeks time. With the exception of my loves that I have known for years, it seems that no one is dependable. No one keeps their word, and people take from you when they need a boost, only to put that value onto someone else. So when I want to be in control of situations, it's not confidence with a dash of bitchy. Instead, it's actually caution with a dash of disappointment. How many people wouldn't strive for control anymore if more than a handful of friends were actually genuine and dependable?