razor the leader

When I was in kindergarten I would change my ponytail location based on what the other girls did. If they had a side ponytail I would literally move my ponytail to the side. The only problem is, when you switch so drastically on anything you are bound to leave evidence of indecisiveness, and in my case, huge bumps of hair like ripples from an earthquake of random ponytail replacement.

There are two types of people; the ones that follow, and the ones that fool themselves into thinking they are leaders. 

The faux leaders (yes, I am raising my hand), like to think they started it. That trend began with them, that phrase was originally yours... The best part is that someone has always done it before you, and the reason it went away in the first place is because somewhere along the way the band of followers decided you looked like an idiot, and they weren't going to copy your perm anymore. Leaders are nothing without followers. A comedian is nothing without laughter. A pop star isn't famous if she wears panties. In a year your 'retro' sunglasses will filter back down to a McDonalds happy meal prize, and the billions of photos you took of yourself (yes, we see your arm...no, no one would ever take a picture that close up of your face on purpose besides you) will be replaced with new ones down the line where you no longer have that 'hideous' hair cut you used to think was hot. Your children will make fun of your skinny jeans when they find them in the back of the closet and those purple shoes will no longer be the "awesome fashion statement" they once were. If you don't believe me, ask your mom how hot she thought she was in shoulder pads, holla at the Golden Girls!

Trends, appearance, slang....all those equate to seemingly harmless following. The power move, the risky behavior, raising of the stakes goes to the friend dictator. With a series of simple put downs from another person, a view of someone completely devoted can be skewed in your mind to reflect the negative and untrue things you hear about them. The sick part is the realization partway through that you let someone else control how your perceived someone who was always good to you. Those type of leaders feed on vulnerability, those type of leaders recycle people, those type of leaders usually have to switch crowds when people realize their games. The flip side is being able to decipher when a person isn't trying to corrupt an innocent person in your mind, but rather trying to warn you before you too get hurt.  But sometimes people don't listen, and sometimes you see it fail, and sometimes you have to say goodbye bc you aren't given a choice...then you watch from the side a rinse and repeat enactment and they finally get it. One day they will get it. Think of all the wasted time and grief that could be saved if we would simply evaluate a person's track record...I'm all for leading, leaders, w/e....but if they have to keep switching around, it's a sure fire sign that they are in fact the problem. Here comes the lame; "the real housewives of atlanta" completely cemented this in my mind. Telling a friend you love them is a genuine thing that has been downgraded to "luv ya". Two of the friends on this show always said "love you"..but wouldn't you be heartbroken to find out they were talking smack? Would you immediately throw them away instead of asking for an explanation? The concept of loving someone, even just as a friend, is lost because of people that say it an don't mean it. When did that phrase, and the people you say it to, become disposable? As heartbreaking as it is, in a certain case I have done all I can, and can't keep being the only one.  Ridiculous that a show on Bravo snapped me out of my allusion that it was real and not simply out of convenience. Sometimes the leader wants to be the follower.